The Missing Page

Charlton Athletic thoughts.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

The Doorstep Challenge

For anyone out there requiring tips on how to launder their centenary shirts current theory would suggest that to avoid the badge, arms or stitching falling off said garment the best way to approach it is as follows:

1. Place your centenary shirt at one end of your kitchen.
2. Take a bowl of COLD water, mixing in a cup of any leading non-biological washing powder.
3. Place bowl at the other end of your kitchen. Should your kitchen be of length less than the required 15 feet you may have to open your back door and retreat into the garden.
4. Making sure your shirt is vaguely within the line-of-sight of the bowl and wave it, gently, in the general direction of the cold water.
5. After a period not exceeding 10 seconds, lay flat to dry on a bed of (red) rose petals ensuring that the ambient temperature or the room is between 19 and 22 degrees.

Other washing instructions are available via the mailing list.

Alternatively, you could take the ill-conceived garment back to the superstore and demand that your money be refunded on the basis that its not fit for purpose. Then again it may have been designed to be worn only once.


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